


Placing the Blame (Old-School)

by dvrling



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:36:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8638948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvrling/pseuds/dvrling
Summary: When Batman’s gone, the Joker will get very ill.





	

When Batman’s gone, the Joker will get very ill. The kind of quiet ill that scares off chasers and makes psychiatrists want to throw up and cry.

It won’t be gradual. It will be fast and unpleasant. There will be a point where he’ll begin to delude himself with even coils of illogic, working backward into soft gray matter:

If there is a Batman, and there is a Batman, he would never leave me. But there is a Batman, and he has left me. Therefore, there is no Batman. But there is a Batman. And he would never leave me.

If Batman is gone, he must be dead, because he would never leave me. But Batman can’t be dead, because no one in Gotham can kill him, but me. And I didn’t kill him. So he’s alive. And he left me.

And it will repeat. Over and over. Exponentially redundant and in terminal decline.

He’ll think about Batman, and what should have been. He’ll think about killing Batman (or _being_ killed by him). Batman would get close, and choke him, and he would say, “You’re all I hate in this world, Joker,” and he would say, “I’ve never quite hated anything as much as I do you,” and he would say, “I’ve never felt anything as strong as my hatred for you, now, and till the end of time.” And things would be perfect, and they would all make sense, and Joker would would finally be happy. _Really_ happy.

But that won’t happen. Batman’ll disappear, and the Joker will become stagnant. The Arkham orderlies will think he’s pretending. When he’s first thrown back into the rest home (For the Emotionally Disturbed), they’ll put down his papers, walk him into the common room and tell him, No funny business, got it?

He won’t say anything, and they’ll learn to expect that, and learn to keep him in the Intensive Ward, because when he’s out, the other patients get all bothersome and set fire to his rehabilitation. 

Never anything too bad-- because they won’t like having their cigarettes taken and dosages doubled-- but they’ll notice he’ll act kind of weird if you mention Batman and see that’s where to have your fun and such.

So they do. They’ll bother away. And the Joker will be taken to the Intensive Ward, where he’ll be met with his new psychiatrist. A man that’s a whole lot nicer and easier to ignore than the orderlies. He’ll let himself into Joker’s new room (with the blinds open, to function as a memento mori to passers-by), and smile real bright, like the liquid fluorescents.

He’ll tap a pen against his clipboard and say, “This is all because of your bizarre thing with the Batman, right, right.” Joker will stir a bit at that. The psychiatrist will look down at him, apologetic, and add, “Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I won’t mention _him_ any more.” He’ll clear his throat and glance at the door. “That’s not good,” he’ll say dimly.

He’ll twist his lips down, sort of quasi-pouting, and tilt his head like he wants commentary on how things are going. Joker will say nothing. The psychiatrist will regain himself, and begin again: “Okay, hello. Let’s start over. I’m Wolper. Dr. Wolper. Pleasure’s all mine. And I really think I’m going to enjoy helping you.”

And he’ll try to help the Joker. He really will. He’ll try to dissect what he can figure of his and the Batman’s bizarre thing, and he’ll try to get Joker to talk. He will. It’ll work. Wolper knows.

Because when Batman’s gone, it’ll be a good thing.

**Author's Note:**

> [title src](https://youtu.be/1miv-4Ry16c)


End file.
